ibdsupport

We were burgled last week. Some cretin broke a huge hole in our kitchen window and let itself into OUR home. It then proceeded to go through every room, swiping up small articles it could thieve without having to worry about them being too big to get discreetly out of the house.

Apparently small crime like this is very much on the rise. Our country is becoming awash with scum who feel it’s their right to break into someone’s house and take whatever they fancy, never mind that the owner of those goods worked hard to acquire them. (Never mind that this particular owner of those goods may have been through some traumatic times without all this!)

I feel differently about my house now, it no longer feels like a safe and cosy haven. We’ve done our best to secure it better this weekend by adding padlocks to the garden gate and putting net curtains up so noone can see inside. It will take more than this though and I don’t think it’ll be long before we make a move to pastures new.

Current Mood: blogging

I’ll be amazed if there are many responses to this post after neglecting my blog for quite some time now. Not only mine but other people’s also, it’s been hard to summon up any enthusiasm to be honest. However as I’ve titled this entry, life does go on. My life without my mum has stretched to almost two months now – unbelievable. I have some unanswered questions regarding her death, which I need to pursue with her doctor. It’s something I have to do even though I know nothing can be changed.

Something I haven’t mentioned but which could have been just as life changing as losing my mum, was Dave being taken seriously ill seven weeks ago. At 1.30 am, just eight days after mum died, I found myself sitting just around the corner from the room my mum had died in. This time we’d arrived there by ambulance as Dave had developed peritonitis, a life threatening condition which is a risk he takes all the time with the kind of dialysis he does. Anyway, very long story short, he was eventually rushed to Addenbrookes hospital in Cambridge where they saved his life and I got him home after a week of incredible stress.

On to happier things, Dave is well recovered now and this weekend he’s busy doing a three day Game Fair in Lincolnshire. I helped him yesterday and will again tomorrow. It’s great fun! We have a stall selling Elgood’s beer (real ale) giving out samples and co-ercing people into buying it!

I finally returned to school two weeks ago after six weeks off work. I won’t pretend it’s been ok as it hasn’t a lot of the time. A more tricky class would be hard to find and all I can say is roll on July…and then September when I get a new class!

Finally a few photos, the first a wonderful surprise I received from my oh so talented friend Sadie. The sweetest little cushion which I will always treasure for reasons which only Sadie and I know about The second, a photo of our darling grandchildren taken in the cottage we stayed in in Dorset over Easter. Then there’s a pic of Dave manning our beer stall and last of all the reason why I’m feeling so broody at the moment!! The cutest little spaniel pup at the show yesterday, 13 weeks old, I’m in love!!

…much has happened but always in the back of my mind, my mum. I suppose  because I would share just about everything with her. Take for example last night: our town has been without a cinema ever since I was a child. About two months ago, mum rang me to say that we were at last getting one. It opened two weeks ago. Oh how she would have loved it! Plush leather sofas and armchairs, a bar and a selection of excellent films. We saw The Young Victoria. Sumptous and terribly romantic, wonderful!

Mum’s funeral took place on the 25th. I had chosen three pieces of music to be played along with two hymns to be sung. All were pieces that mum loved: ‘Sanctus’ and ‘May the Road Rise Up’ by Libera and ‘Blue in Blue’ by Patrick Hawes and all are choral. The acoustics in the church played them at their best. My brother was extraordinarily brave and stood up to talk about our mum in such a touching and moving way.The words he read out at the end moved everyone to tears….I have included them at the end of this post.

It’s actually incredibly hard to put into words what it’s like to lose your mum. She was the anchor to my past. I’ve spent many hours going through the 100’s of photos she’d collected over the years, lots going back to before she was born. I’d seen them many times before but it’s not until now that I’ve really come to value them.  So many questions I’d like to ask about them with no one to ask. I’ll finish this post with three although only one of them is actually old. Hold the mouse over to read what I’ve said about them.

You can shed tears that she is gone

Or you can smile because she has lived

You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back

Or you can open your eyes and see all that she has left

Your heart can be empty because you can’t see her

Or you can be full of the love that you shared

You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday

Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday

You can remember her and only that she is gone

Or you can cherish her memory and let it live on

You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back

Or you can do what she would want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.